This feels like a lot of work ...

Using the Match.com online dating service feels much like a job selling life insurance. After two months of using the system, I still do not have enough data to present reliable statistics, but I have some preliminary data:

I have sent first contact emails to about 60 women. Of these, half never answered, and half of the rest replied back with a simple "Not interested", many of which were generated automatically when they clicked the "No Thanks" button on the email page. Half of the rest again replied with a longer, more personal version of "No". For those who are keeping track, those original 60 are now down to about 7. Let's round it off to 10%.

Out of those 7, 3 did not respond to the second email I sent, and 2 responded with a "Not interested" at that point. So after initiating 60 contacts over two months, I have still not actually met anybody, but I still have some hope for two that have indicated that they may eventually be willing to get together. Let's call that 3% of the initial contacts, and I think it is reasonable to project that 90% will disappear after the first in-person meeting, which will mean that it takes 300 initial contacts to get to one second meeting, or one "real first date" if you prefer.

With this knowledge, it is clear that I have not been putting nearly enough effort into the process, seeing that it took me 2 months to make 60 initial contacts. That's only one a day. In order to have at least 2 "first in-person meetings" per week, I would need to make 60 "first contact" emails per week, and still expect that it takes 2 months of that to get one "real first date". I'm not quite able to do that. I'm trying to do 5 a day, but frankly, I think I will run out of candidates before long at that rate.

I am still trying to find out if this is "normal" or if I am a particularly unattractive person. It may be that I am too old, too fat, too recently separated, too ugly or too weird. Or it may be that I have accidentally put myself in the very worst light as I have written my profile page. Certainly, I think that I have done my best to describe myself as a person with enough interesting life experiences to have conversation for more than one date; a person with broad interests in litterature, arts and society; and a person who is willing to challenge himself in interacting with the world. And if I have not screwed that up, then the conclusion may have to be that there are few women that actually want that in a partner, and those who do are in high demand, and have lots of men to choose between.

All I know for sure, is that there is a reason why I have never been attracted to a career in sales.